It’s not you.
Stop blaming yourself.
Whether it’s the fact that you packed on a few pounds.
Or started smoking.
Or you’ve been slacking at work or school.
It’s not you.
It’s your environment.
The people you spend the most time with.
Let me ask you this…
What do your friends do?
What are they like?
Because it’ll determine who you are.
Because their lifestyles are contagious.
A lot of research has been done in the past decade around social networks.
On how the people around you affect who you become.
As David Brooks wrote in The Social Animal, “If your friends are obese, you are more likely to be obese. If your friends are happy, you’re more likely to be happy. If your friends smoke, you smoke. If they feel lonely, you feel lonely.”
So, stop blaming yourself.
It’s not that you suck at establishing new habits.
It’s everything and everyone around you.
It’s human nature.
We are a species that watches and imitates.
We subconsciously mirror those around us.
So, if you want to improve.
If you want to become a better person.
Look out for groups and places that have exactly what you wish to become.
Look out for the diligent, kind, happy people.
Join their clubs, their neighborhoods and their events.
Spend time with them.
Learn from them.
But that’s the easy part.
The hard part is cutting out old friends who don’t make you a better person.
Leaving behind people who, despite their poor lifestyle choices, have been there for you.
Who know you better than anyone else.
That shit is excruciatingly painful.
You’ll feel guilty.
In fact, they’ll usually make you feel even guiltier.
They’ll say you’ve changed.
But you have to move forward.
You have to hand select your crew.
And if you do.
If you look around and are in awe of your community.
If your biggest inspirations are also your best friends.
Then you’re in the right place.
You’re headed in the right direction.